100 Ways Seto Kaiba Says 'I Love You'
by tissesxO
Summary: SetoxOC- 100 hundred ways Seto Kaiba can say I love you. Wow, who would've thought that actually possible! It may take days. It may take weeks or months. It may take years. But there's one girl who vows to hear him say the words. R
1. 100 Ways Seto Kaiba Says 'I Love You'

**100 Ways Seto Kaiba Says 'I Love You'.**

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**For those of you who might be confused, this is entirely to a girl/or boy...JOEY...cough... and is in no way supposed to be for Mokuba.  
Mokuba knows he's loved whether Kaiba says it or not. I think everyone knows that.  
**

**Without further adieu, enjoy!**

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1. Kaiba doesn't say it at all. He thinks you'll leave him if he actually admits those three words.

2. Buys you anything you want and complains, "You're stealing my money, bitch!" That means, "I'll buy you anything you want, anytime you want!"

3. Asks you out to dinner to some expensive restraunt.

4. On second thought? No. Hires Gordon Ramsey or a team of professional French chefs from the other side of the world and flies them to his house to cook dinner for you.

5. Engages you into a duel for a "date". He thinks women who duel him incredibly sexy.

6. Tries to dominate an argument with you. But allows himself to fail miserably.

7. Comments how fat you look in your dress you spent your life's savings on. It's just an excuse to buy you twenty even better ones.

8. Makes you wear the most unattractive dress to a corporate party. He doesn't want any other guy flirting with you.

9. But when his ego's at full power (which it always is), dresses you up hot to MAKE every other man in the room jealous.

10. Introduces you to Mokuba. Only _special _women deserve that priveledge.

11. Let's you wear his clothes. Yes that includes the almighty TrenchCoat: The Silver Edition.

12. Steals a favourite a pair of your lingerie so he can see it everyday. Hint: He LOVES Victoria's Secret. What guy doesn't?

13. Takes you out camping or mountain hiking just to prove he does something "other" than working in an office and running a company.

14. Make you jealous but acting all nice for another girl.

15. Reads his KaibaCorp contracts to you until you fall asleep. He thinks it turns you on and since he sucks when it comes to women, you understand.

16. Break every one of your parent's strict dating obligations just to piss them off. Nobody tells Seto Kaiba what to do.

17. Forces himself to hang out with your drooling, idiot fan girl friends.

18. Takes you to church with him in an effort to save your immortal soul. Yes, for those of you who didn't already know, Seto is a Christian. That's why he hates to believe in Ishizu's Egyptian fairytales.

19. Grand Tour Around The World. WOO HOO! Don't you love guys with money?

20. When you ask why he doesn't do the gentlemen things like pull out chairs for you, or sppon feed you, he says, "You're old enough to do it yourself. What are you, five years old?" It's just his way of complimenting your maturity.

21. Celebrates "Seto Kaiba Day" with you. [meaning October 25th] Man, the guy couldn't get more egotistical.

22. Tells you that you looked better when you were two. Because back then, you didn't annoy him as much. He's just "joking".

23. Pretends he doesn't know you in front of Yugi and co. They still think he's gay and he wants to keep it that way so he can shock them all when he marries you.

24. Keeps his eyes open when he kisses you. He doesn't believe staring is rude. Staring is one of his talents.

25. Tells you really irrelevant things for the sake of stroking his ego.

26. For example, when you're sick, he whispers in your ear and tells you his tears can cure anybody's sickness in an instant. It's just a shame he NEVER cries.

27. Gets you out of your comfort zone and makes you do the things that scare you most. [Skydiving, snowboarding; oh, hell yeah!]

28. Calls you at the most unlikely time [when you're trying to sleep] and asks why the hell you weren't thinking about him. Apparently the duel disk he gave you has a brain censor on it that he created himself.

29. Reads your mind. The man is a pro at human nature and doesn't care if you find it annoying.

30. Tells you to get lost. He's trying to play Kingdom Hearts II and you're not helping with that sexy dress you got on.

31. Buys you the most expensive clothing on market, only to tear it off you and rip it to shreds.

32. Refers to you as his "loser", his "idiot" or his "lame excuse for a girlfriend".

33. Does really blonde things when he's mad at you, for example, trying to slam a revolving door which is the only type of door in his house. [Still to be proven]

34. Is at his cockiest when around you, or as he likes to call it, "Kaibalicious".

35. Always boasts how he invented all the colours except for pink. Joey invented pink.

36. Tells you to relax when he touches you. It's only an act.

37. Puts his company above you, claiming that he's only doing what's best for you. Girl Language: BULLCRAP!

38. Refuses to make babies with you saying that he's a traditional guy and wants to wait until marriage.

39. Writes, "(your name) is a DORK!" in the sky for the whole world to see.

40. Accuses you off cheating even if you've been locked in a bathroom with him for a month. Yes, Kaiba is that paranoid.

41. When you catch him wanking, he says he was only thinking about you.

42. Insults your mom, saying she's not nearly as beautiful as you.

43. Compliments your dad in choice of wife saying, "Lucky you chose her and not a pretty girl or else your daughter would've turned out like Wheeler."

44. Inscribes the "forbidden sentence" on a ring so he doesn't have to say it.

45. Blames you for losing to Yugi. Apparently you were distracting him.

46. Comes up with the cheesiest lines when you're mad at him.

47. Walks briskly to rescue you when you get kidnapped. He's developed the habit due to Mokuba's 50 kidnappings a week.

48. Falls asleep during a conversation over the phone. He hates chic calls.

49. Teaches you how to salsa so you can dance along with him. Of course, that gives him ample opportunity to mock your technique.

50. Insists you take sexy photos of him and keep it somewhere safe. Once again, ego unleashed.

51. Says "I Love You" perfectly in another language, but ten to one you don't know what language he's speaking, you don't know what he just said.

52. Forgets anniversaries and special holidays to spend time with Mokuba.

53. Never writes love poems or love songs or any of that romantic crap. Seto Kaiba doesn't need to be a romantic. You should know him by now.

54. Randomly hires a million strippers just to prove none of them are in comparison to you.

55. Compares you to his Blue Eyes White Dragon, whining that you don't have claws, talons, scales or wings.

56. Makes out with you in the rain. He claims your lips are softer, fuller and much juicier that way.

57. Pokes at you randomly just to annoy you. Usually using his cards.

58. Writes an actual letter to you when you're miles away from him. E-mail has become so boring, he's decided to employ a scribe to write down everything he says in a letter for you.

59. But when he's in a good mood, a good old fashioned hand written letter is in order. Even if half of it bitches at you for being away so long.

60. Kaiba doesn't say, "I miss you." He looks you up and down and spits, "Oh, you again! What do you want?"

61. Destroys your collection of Twilight, Harry Potter and any other magic related books, claiming they're polluting your mind with bullshit.

62. Drives the car unbearably slow when you're going out to a date. He doesn't want the slightest bump to mess up his or your perfect hair.

63. Drives the car unbearably fast when you're returning from the date. Now that it's over, he doesn't care if your hair goes all poofy when he stops. No one will be able to see it.

64. Leaves a note on your bed table before he leaves very early for work. The note usually has a KC logo on it and nothing else apart from, "Wake up, loser!"

65. Wastes your ass at strip poker and rubs it in your face.

66. Wastes your ass at ordinary poker and still rubs it in your face.

67. He inexplicably has a fetish for comparing you to Joey Wheeler.

68. Waits until something bad happens to you and THEN jumps to "rescue" you even though it's over.

69. Blames everything on you. Seto Kaiba never says sorry. His way of saying I love you? Yeah, I know, CRAP!

70. Types on his laptop all day long, completely ignoring you.

71. Breaks all his date promises but makes it up to you simply in a kiss. Too bad it works everytime.

72. Does not accept weakness or flaws. He thinks you too perfect for that.

73. Runs after you everytime you get angry at him, sweeps you off your feet and demands an apology.

74. Plans a weekly fitness regime. He wants your body to be as hot as his.

75. Never lets you win at ANYTHING. He doesn't want you to think he's a loser. Ever.

76. When you accidentally trip over he very gentlemanly helps you back up, only to push you back down again and laugh in your face.

77. Shakes a can of soda when you're not looking and then offers it to you. Of course, it explodes on you. Kaiba Love? Oh hell yeah.

78. Demands a backrub. You'd think after working all day in a shopping mall he'd offer you one, but no. It's your job to give him a good massage.

79. Stands at the top of his KaibaCorp building with a megaphone in hand and yells, "THIS WOMAN/MAN (meaning you) IS A MORON! THAT'S WHY I DATE HER/HIM!" Another ingenius way to stroke his ego, which is a good idea for the next list story I make.

80. Ruins your favourite movie by continuously asking, "Why isn't anyone playing Duel Monsters! It's a ninety minute movie! That gives them plenty of time to summon at least one monster!"

81. When you want to hold hands, Kaiba always quickly hand sanitizes his hands. That's why he hardly let's people touch him.

82. Locks you out of your bedroom knowing you'll climb through the window.

83. Jumps out and scares you in the middle of the night when you're returning from the toilet.

84. Shows you how kind he can actually be by donating all of your clothes to charity.

85. When you're in the shower, his patience runs out after about one minute so he barges in and threatens to kick you of the shower if you don't share it with him.

86. Reads to you his favourite passage in the Bible even though most of what he does completely goes against it. 1 Corinthians 13. Look it up!

87. Admits he's jealous when you start spending more time with Mokuba.

88. He also admits to being selfish and egotistical, knowing your heart is melting by the second at his honesty.

89. When you're eating, he swipes food off your plate, saying it's for dietary reasons as his girlfriend/wife.

90. Cold shoulders you in front of his business associates, expecting you to react in the smoothest way possible.

91. He is completely lost for words the night he proposes to you. His mind has been so filled with ways to mock you, he doesn't have anything nice to say.

92. He hides the ring he wants to use to propose to you in his briefcase. o.0 Talk about dumb! I mean come on! That's the most obvious place in the world!

93. Buys you a wedding dress that highly resembles the Blue Eyes White Dragon.

94. Refuses to dress you in anything other than blue and white.

95. Beats up any guy who tries to touch you. As far as the Kaiba is concerned, you are his and his alone. Nobody elses. _Nobody._

96. No that's a lie. Kaiba has a choice of killing or imprisoning the guy who touches you. Since he's insanely rich, people cn't possibly ever hope to take revenge.

97. Marries you. Oh well, OBVIOUSLY!

98. Puts you to bed like a real man does, and wakes up in the morning all smiley. Sadly, the only time he smiles.

99. Miraculously has three hundred plus children with you. Wow, someone's busy.

100. Actually admits the truth by saying, "I love you."

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**Now for the best part...and that's writing a story about how Kaiba struggles to say those simple three words.  
It's a recurring thing among the fanfiction that he remains cold and ruthless. But hey, the guy has a heart! I should know, I stalk him JOKES!  
Anyway this is going to be a SetoxOC fic...I love OC's. Names? **

**new obsession; malindachan x ex-shadow FTW!  
They are soooooo cute together! :)**


	2. Prologue

"Mommy, would you tell me again the story of how I was born?"

The sound of a little girl's voice and the question it had asked hurried Seto Kaiba's footsteps to the open doorway of his daughter's room. What had possessed her 5-year-old mind to ask that sort of question?

"But you've heard it a thousand times, sweetheart!"

Familiar laughter resounded through his ears and it matched the scene Seto found. His wife, Jenna, holding their young daughter, Marisa in her arms as they sat together on Marisa's bed. Seto Kaiba's eyes gradually softened at the sight of his family. Sometimes, he wondered how someone as cold as him could ever have produced a child as sweet as Marisa with a woman as impossible to deal with as Jenna. It just didn't make any sense sometimes.

"Please mommy! Make it a thousand and one times! I promise I'll be good tomorrow!"

Then again, it didn't matter either.

A reserved smile crept upon the CEO's lips and he leant on the doorway with his arms folded across his chest, watching and lsitening in silence.

"Okay," Jenna gave in, kissing Marisa on the cheek, "But only because you're very good. Once upon a time, in a land far, far, far away, there lived a handsome prince-"

"That's daddy, isn't it?"

"That's right, baby. And he was the most handsome prince in the whole entire world. Thousands of girls would line up outside his magnificent castle, hoping that he would fall in love with one of them and become his queen."

"And then what happened?"

"One day, the handsome prince was forced to go to the Royal School by the prince's little brother who was very cute and had magical powers."

Marisa giggled and Seto could not help but smile when she exclaimed, "Uncle Mokie!"

Jenna laughed too, "Yes, baby. Uncle Mokuba made the prince go to school and it was very boring."

Seto shook his head. Jenna had never liked school.

Neither had he.

There was absolutely no point for him to have been there other than Mokuba's wishes for him to be sociable.

"Mommy, is school really that boring?"

"Oh yes, darling. Very, very, very boring. But you see, there was one class that the prince loved. And that class was the one he shared with a very beautiful princess-"

"That's you!"

Seto mentally chuckled at his daughter's cute antics. Sometimes, she reminded him of the way Mokuba interjected into Seto's stories when he used to tell them at the orphanage.

How long ago had the orphanage been?

Shrugging the memories, both peaceful and menacing behind him, the tall man with the chocolate brown hair and famous blue eyes with the cold edge continued to listen in silence.

"That's me. The prince and princess loved each other but couldn't be together because their...two different countries were enemies."

"Were they supposed to hate each other, mommy?"

Here, Jenna looked thoughtful and Seto understood the true meaning of her words, his mind offering him glimpses of what their lives had been like before. Yes, they were supposed to hate each other. And they did.

For a very long time.

"Yes, but you see honey, when love is real, it finds a way. And so the prince and the princess ran away from school and got lost in a great, big enchanted forest where they found the most wonderful treasure in the universe."

Marisa smiled sweetly and she pointed her thumb at her chest. Jenna nodded affectionately and continued with the story.

"They both loved the treasure with all their hearts and knew they couldn't love anything more than their treasure. So they got married and lived happily ever after. The end."

It was the most ridiculous story Seto Kaiba had ever heard in his life, but he knew how stories filled with nonsense entertained young children. Even bright, educated kids like his daughter. Though, he had had previous experience with the way stories like these would light up Mokuba's stormy violet eyes. It was quite amazing if one thought about it.

He watched as his wife gave their daughter a lengthy hug, kissed her cheek and tucked her in bed.

"Goodnight, baby girl. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, mommy."

How had it come to this?

Before Marisa was born and Jenna had come along, Seto had thought he would have only his little brother to love and take care of and that he was doomed to rely on the success of his hard work for happiness and a cheap one night stand for pleasure.

But then one thing and led to the next and all Seto could think about was when he was holding his daughter for the first time thinking there was nothing in the world he could ever love more. He remembered the way Jenna looked at him from her place on the bed she had given birth on. Her face held pure joy and happiness.

Jenna had been a fling.

One that she had instigated.

He never asked for her. She had just happened.

He never wanted her in the first place. But after years of her flirtatious glances, heated encounters and irrelevant outbursts that eventually led to more than he anticipated, she managed to force herself into his life.

And then there was Mokuba. His little brother, Mokuba. All this wouldn't have been possible were it not for Mokuba. Seto closed his eyes. He missed having the little runt around. Except, Mokuba wasn't little anymore. God bless his heart, he was sixteen now and studying abroad.

"You know, Mr. Kaiba, you're allowed to wish your daughter goodnight."

Seto felt a hand gently push him out of the doorway, into the corridor. He heard a soft click as the door to Marisa's bedroom was closed and finally felt his wife's lips press against his cheek. He moved his head and was pleased when her surprised gasp allowed him to kiss her properly.

"Hello."

Jenna smiled at him, "How is it that we can never meet without you putting your tongue in my mouth."

Seto wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, possessively bringing her close to him.

"Let's just say I've got a thing for cheerleaders."

Jenna slapped her husband's chest playfully and pushed him slightly away, "You hated cheerleaders!"

Seto nodded thoughtfully, remembering well the very first time he met Jenna in his last year of high school.

Yes.

He really did hate cheerleaders.

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A/N: wow, it's been a long time since I wrote . Reviews appreciated. They'll help me write better chapters for this story in the future. Hope no one minds the OC. Suggestions on how to improve the OC are all accepted and muchly appreciated.

R&R


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